Oct26
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Evan, Adeline, and Malina,

For now, this is your last name. It’s a hard last name, but anything worth doing (or saying) is going to be hard. I must be honest and tell you that I do not know the full history behind our family name. I like to think that maybe it started when a young trapper in Northwest Canada struck out on his own against the wishes of his family. He stumbled upon a young Native American girl striking out on her own, breaking free from stereotypes and tradition.

Truth is, while I may not know the history of this name, I do know you will be plagued with bad pronunciations the rest of your life.  Every recognition of your accomplishments means watching someone stand at a podium and slaughter your name before crowds of people who politely chuckle.

While they may never get  the name right, I pray those around you will always know what it stands for.  Your life will be what ultimately defines the name that you carry.  You are a Dupuis….so you live an honest life, speaking and walking in truth wherever your path may take you. You are a Dupuis, so you love and forgive, you work hard and you laugh even harder. You suck up all that is this life and you don’t waste an opportunity to be held captive by the wonder of a new day. You take chances, you fail, you mess up, you forgive and seek forgiveness.

Most importantly, I pray that being a, Dupuis, means being a person who has surrendered your life to Jesus Christ, obeying what He commanded and teaching others to do the same.

Live for very long and there will be calls to compromise, to cheat, to question your worth, to give up, or to play it safe….but never forget….you are a Dupuis.

Love,

Your Dad.

Oct15
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Evan, Adeline, and Malina,

Each of you have taken a turn going through a phase in which every sentence you create ends with a question mark.  Malina, this is your world right now.   Most days, before we even leave the driveway, the questions begin. Now you are only 2 years old at the writing of this letter, so your biggest question is “what’s that?” said with all of the inflection and innocence (and cuteness) of a 2-year-old little girl. “what’ that?” you ask. “A tree” I reply. “what’s that?” you say again. “A car” is my answer.

“What’s that?”

“A person walking.”

“What’s that?”

“I don’t know Daddy’s driving honey.”

“What’s that?”

“Another tree.” I guess.

Somehow, you never get tired of asking the same question about every object that passes in front of your little left side car window.  I know from your brother and sister that the questions do not stop as you get older, but they do change. You will start to ask all kinds of questions:  About life, about God, about , stink bugs, about words like divorce, getting old, and bodily functions.  Now, I am not sure what age you will be when (and if) you read this letter, but DO NOT STOP ASKING QUESTIONS. Question everything. Question assumptions and stereotypes and policies; question prejudices and misconceptions and injustice.  Never stop asking questions about God and the bible and truth.

There will always be those who are afraid of questions, who would rather be told the answers and repeat what they’ve been told without thinking; who equate asking questions with unbelief and become very nervous, even concerned for your well-being if you start asking too many questions.

Yet your greatest growth and development as a human being will not happen because you memorized facts or talking points. Your greatest understanding about God and following Jesus will not be because you know every story and character in the bible.

Your richest and fullest experience of life will happen because you refuse to stop asking questions and honestly pursuing the places the answers to those questions take you.

Who knows the kind of change and good and hope that has and can happen in our world because of a single person who refuses to stop asking questions.

Would you like to find out?

Love,

Your Dad.

Jun25
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Dear Adeline and Malina

Though you are both at least 18 years away from dating (Lord, hear our prayer) I want to offer you some advice on how you can tell if the boy you just went out with deserves a second date.  Rarely will this be the guy’s decision (he will always want a second date) so I thought I would give you only one simple thing to look for in the guy you start seeing.

I imagine one day it will go like this: It’s date night. He pulls up in a car he did not pay for, filled with gas he did not purchase, along with a curfew he did not set (personal experience here).

[Just a side note here: If your "friend" wants to take you out, then your "friend" needs to come to the door to get you. I don't want to hear a car horn from the driveway while he sits and listens to his oldies Coldplay music.]

So he walks up to the door and you pretend not to be ready. I stand at the door and do what any good Father knows to do….mentally burn the image of my face into the deepest parts of his brain.

You walk out to the car with him….and this is where it happens. This is where you know whether or not you should see  him again….This is the test.

Does he open your car door?

I wish it was deeper than that, but in relationships it is always the small things. Now you may say, “but he brought me flowers!” or “he paid for my dinner!”

That’s great!…did he open your car door?

Opening your car door reveals a kind of training, a move of respect passed on from parent to child for generations. It is that kind of attention to courtesy and detail and honor that money could never buy.

You’ll come running in the door at the end of your date, just before the curfew alarm goes off.  You’ll try to avoid my attempts to gather any information about the details of the date, as you run up to your room to call your best friend. Later, you will come down to kiss your Mother and I goodnight….and as you turn to head up to bed, you’ll hear my voice, asking one simple question.

Love,

Your Dad.

Jun13
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Dear Evan, Adeline, and Malina,

One day you may find yourself in a position where you have done something you know is wrong, or hurtful, or illegal, or embarrassing. You won’t be able to cover it up or make it go away, and it’s just a matter of time until your Mother or I find out.

You’ll start to panic, quickly racing through your options as you try to figure out what to do next. In those moments, you may have thoughts that creep in to your head….thoughts that tell you that you cannot go home, that you cannot face your Mom and I.

I just want you to know….before that day ever comes….you can always come home.

Just come back. We can work through anything if we work through it together. There may be disappointment and consequences and many late night discussions….but the best place for all of that to happen is surrounded by the people who have cared for you, prayed for you, cried over you, and would die for you if necessary.

You can always come home.

When he came to his senses, he said,…I will set out and go back to my father….” Luke 15:17-18

Love,

Your Dad.

Please Come Home….

Jun8
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Dear Evan, Adeline, and Malina

You are about to enter in to an amazing time of year….summer vacation. The days are long, the weather is warm, and the bedtime is negotiable.  You will soon have even more time to play and explore, and hopefully….time to be bored.

I used to love summer vacation so much when I was a kid. Every day I would walk outside to find friends riding bikes, playing ball, or chasing each other for no particular reason.  Some days we would play all day, moving from sport to sport and backyard to backyard.  But some days, I couldn’t find any of my friends around the neighborhood, and so I was left to being bored.

But in being bored a world of opportunity opened up for me.  I didn’t realize that what I thought was boredom was actually freedom. Freedom to make up alien worlds and fight bad guys, freedom to ride my back with the wind at my face. Freedom to push down a row of corn in order to create the perfect hiding spot.

You will probably come to me one day during the summer and complain that “you’re bored” and have “nothing to do”. Just know that your Mother and I will not try to “script” every moment of your summer….create a schedule for you that constantly keeps you moving from one planned activity to another.

I know that you (like me) will not like it that much at first .  When you’re young you spend lots of time running from boredom, only to look back years later and long for one of those long, uneventful days.  But in your boredom you may have an opportunity to stand before a summer thunderstorm as it rolls toward you, or even spread out in the grass, lay on your back, and stare up at the sky….realizing how small you are in this great big universe. In your boredom you may just learn more than you every could in your busyness.

It’s not boring kids….it’s summer vacation.

Love,

Your Dad.

May30
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Dear Evan,

There is a very good possibility you will hear this story at some point in your life, so I thought it might be best if you hear it from me.

We were living in Kentucky, where I was a young Pastor. On certain days your Mom would work all day which meant I would care for you, and carry on my normal Pastoral duties, which included hospital visits. So you would come along. You were a good conversation piece to have with me, and you always seemed to lighten the mood.  So when I found out that a woman in our congregation was taking her husband in for a heart catheterization, I secured you in the car (like an astronaut preparing for flight) and headed toward the hospital.

When we arrived, I found, Linda, sitting with her family in a waiting area as they prepped her husband for the procedure. There was an entire circle of chairs, but nobody seemed to talked to her….I just assumed it was nerves. I made small talk with Linda, and we all stared at you as you slept in your car seat and made tiny bubbles with your lips.

Soon the procedure was over, and the Doctor came out to get Linda to talk with her in a consultation room. “Do you want to come too?” she asked me. “Absolutely, I’d be happy to come with you” I said enthusiastically. I jumped up and started to follow her back. “Don’t you want to bring Evan?” Linda asked, somewhat confused. “No, he’s sleeping and he’ll be okay out here with everybody.” I assured her. Linda was good people, and I had no trouble trusting the family that gathered around her in that waiting room. We sat in the room and waited for the Doctor to come back in. “Sure you  don’t want to grab Evan and bring him in?” “I really don’t mind at all.” Linda said one more time. “No, really, he is good out there.”

The doctor talked about the success of the procedure and the next steps. Linda and I made our way back out to join the others in the waiting room. But this time, when she sat down, I noticed she didn’t say a word to the people gathered around her in the chairs. “Well that’s a little odd” I remember thinking to myself. “Surely she would relay some of the information to her family, give them an update on her husband”…..nothing….I also noticed that the people sitting around us didn’t ask any questions….barely seemed to care that we walked back in to the room.

Then….A strange kind of horror filled my body that day, Son.

I began to gently shake, the room started to spin as I simultaneously started to sweat and have chills.  Finally, I leaned over to whisper in Linda’s ear, “Linda” I said with voice quivering. “Yes” she whispered back. “Do you….do you know….anyone in this circle?” “Nope….Not a single one” she said, shaking her head. “Do you?” she asked. “Nope, not a single one” I answered in disbelief.  Then she added, “Well, I wondered why you were willing to leave Evan all by himself.”

That’s a good question.  There is nothing like a quiet ride home to give you time to examine your life and your abilities to Father another human being. We got home just before your Mom did. She walked in the door and I approached her to welcome her home. “What happened?” She could read my face, a mix of embarrassment and shame. “You look beautiful honey.” I replied.

“WHAT? HAPPENED?” She said, with a bit more force. I proceeded to explain it to her, “You know how we all have those stories that sound like you’re a really irresponsible parent who leaves your child with perfect strangers you thought were relatives of a church member you were coming to see at the hospital, but then everything turns out okay and you just laugh and laugh???”…..”it’s kind of like that….”

The rest doesn’t need to be discussed in this letter.

But that’s the story of the day you made new friends at a hospital, and the day your Father was only allowed to take you out if supervised. :)

Love,

Your Dad.

May22
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Evan, Adeline, and Malina                                                                  

In your life, you must define what “success” will look like.

If you don’t define success now, you can be sure that plenty of other people will attempt to define it for you — try to sell you on what matters or what you should believe, value, and spend your resources chasing after. But if this does not lead to a life that pleases God….it will not be real success….no matter how good your life may appear.

“This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses.  Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.      Deuteronomy 30:19

“Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness….But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve,… But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”          Joshua 24: 14-15

Love,

Your Dad.

A Letter in 78 Words: What Success Looks Like