Dear Adeline and Malina

Though you are both at least 18 years away from dating (Lord, hear our prayer) I want to offer you some advice on how you can tell if the boy you just went out with deserves a second date.  Rarely will this be the guy’s decision (he will always want a second date) so I thought I would give you only one simple thing to look for in the guy you start seeing.

I imagine one day it will go like this: It’s date night. He pulls up in a car he did not pay for, filled with gas he did not purchase, along with a curfew he did not set (personal experience here).

[Just a side note here: If your "friend" wants to take you out, then your "friend" needs to come to the door to get you. I don't want to hear a car horn from the driveway while he sits and listens to his oldies Coldplay music.]

So he walks up to the door and you pretend not to be ready. I stand at the door and do what any good Father knows to do….mentally burn the image of my face into the deepest parts of his brain.

You walk out to the car with him….and this is where it happens. This is where you know whether or not you should see  him again….This is the test.

Does he open your car door?

I wish it was deeper than that, but in relationships it is always the small things. Now you may say, “but he brought me flowers!” or “he paid for my dinner!”

That’s great!…did he open your car door?

Opening your car door reveals a kind of training, a move of respect passed on from parent to child for generations. It is that kind of attention to courtesy and detail and honor that money could never buy.

You’ll come running in the door at the end of your date, just before the curfew alarm goes off.  You’ll try to avoid my attempts to gather any information about the details of the date, as you run up to your room to call your best friend. Later, you will come down to kiss your Mother and I goodnight….and as you turn to head up to bed, you’ll hear my voice, asking one simple question.

Love,

Your Dad.